{"id":162,"date":"2021-06-06T02:58:54","date_gmt":"2021-06-06T02:58:54","guid":{"rendered":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/?p=162"},"modified":"2023-04-27T14:29:09","modified_gmt":"2023-04-27T14:29:09","slug":"how-to-set-boundaries-with-family","status":"publish","type":"post","link":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/how-to-set-boundaries-with-family\/","title":{"rendered":"How to Set Boundaries with Family"},"content":{"rendered":"<nav aria-label=\"breadcrumbs\" class=\"rank-math-breadcrumb\"><p><span class=\"last\">Home<\/span><\/p><\/nav>\n\n\n\n<p>Have you ever felt like your family members are taking advantage of you? You feel like they&#8217;re always asking for favors, but never giving anything back in return. They constantly want to be around you and they don&#8217;t seem to understand how much time it takes up. It can feel draining at times, but the good news is that there are ways to set boundaries with family members! Learn how in this blog post!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Most people have family members who can be a bit too needy. It&#8217;s not easy to set boundaries with your parents, siblings, or children when they are always asking for favors and taking advantage of you. This is especially true if the person has never done anything for you in return. But it&#8217;s important that you do so anyway. Learn how to set boundaries with family members and live a happier life!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Give yourself time to think about what you want<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>First, think about what you want. Do you want your family member to give more of their time to help out? Are they taking too much from you and not giving anything back in return? Do they need a job or money for food because they&#8217;re struggling with addiction? Figure it out before talking to them so that you can work towards your final goal.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Ask for help when you need it<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>If you need help from someone who is close to you, then ask them for it. Don&#8217;t hesitate or let fear get in the way of your happiness! Asking for help might sound hard but it&#8217;s not impossible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Use a solution-focused approach to communicate<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If you&#8217;re feeling like your family member is too dependent on you or that they don&#8217;t care if their life suffers, then try communicating with them in a more positive way. Come up with solutions for how everyone can be happy and live better lives because of this conversation.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Be honest with your family members &#8211; tell them how they make you feel and why<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Try to be honest with your family members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It is important to speak up for your needs. You are not doing anything wrong and you don&#8217;t have to put up with any kind of abuse or bullying from anyone. If someone wants to take advantage of you, then let them know that it&#8217;s not going to happen because they&#8217;re not worth it. Having boundaries means being able to set a line in the sand.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Stick up for yourself in conversations with family members, but be respectful of their feelings too<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Always make sure to stick up for yourself. Some family members will try to overrun you, just make sure you are respectful of their feelings. It may be hurtful to hear how they make you feel, but it&#8217;s important to communicate your needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don&#8217;t be afraid to put a stop to certain behaviors of family members<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If an uncle starts commenting on women in front of his niece or if someone wants the whole table&#8217;s attention when everyone is trying to talk, then stand up for yourself and tell them how they need to act.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Keep the conversation going by asking questions or making observations about the person&#8217;s point of view (but don&#8217;t argue)&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Ask them questions, but make sure not to argue with them. Asking questions and making observations may make the conversation easier! Just make sure not to start an argument.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Remember that this is a process and will take some time before it starts working fully &#8211; patience!<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Always remember that this process will take time. Be patient and create boundaries with your family members.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Part of living in the modern world is interacting with relatives from time to time. Sometimes, a lot more often than we would like or expect! When it comes to setting personal boundaries around our lives, though,<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Give yourself space to do things on your own<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Try to make space for yourself. to do things on your own. This way, you can spend quality time with family without feeling guilty or resentful of this person for taking up too much space in your life!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Give yourself space to be selfish sometimes<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>It&#8217;s ok to have some &#8220;me&#8221; time and not always put a relative first &#8211; give yourself the chance to take care for your own health.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Be honest about what you can and cannot handle<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Always be honest with yourself about what you can handle. If you get in too deep try to get away for a few days or weeks so you can think clearly and make better decisions.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>If the person is toxic, remove yourself from the situation<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Sometimes, people are just too toxic for us to be around &#8211; they&#8217;re negative influences on our lives or their problems become your own. Remove yourself from these situations as much as possible!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Treat family members respectfully even if things get tough.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Understand that some family members will not be able to respect your boundaries&nbsp;<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Some people can&#8217;t stop or learn to respect your boundaries. When this happens, it&#8217;s okay to walk away.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Care for your own health, be honest about what you can and cannot handle, always be honest with yourself about what you can handle. If the person is toxic or too much of a negative influence on your life then remove yourself from that situation as soon as possible.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Let go of guilt if they don&#8217;t agree or try to push past the boundary<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Always let go of any guilt. It&#8217;s not your responsibility to change people and you can&#8217;t be responsible for how they react when you set boundaries. It can be hard to make people change, but you can&#8217;t take responsibility for them.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Do not carry guilt or try to change how they feel. Once again, this is about your own self-care and needs.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Don&#8217;t ever apologize! It&#8217;s seen as a sign of being weak and will only make the other person more aggressive.<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Create a list of consequences for when they break the boundaries<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>It can be a good idea to make a list of consequences if the behavior continues. This can be a deterrent for the person breaking the boundaries because they know there are consequences. Create a list of consequences for when they break the boundaries and enforce them!<\/p>\n\n\n\n<h2 class=\"wp-block-heading\"><strong>Our Final Thoughts<\/strong><\/h2>\n\n\n\n<p>Setting boundaries is an important part of maintaining your sanity. Even if you don&#8217;t have the time to meet up with relatives, it&#8217;s worth finding a way to keep in touch via email or phone calls. And when they come over for dinner?<\/p>\n\n\n\n<p>Try setting some ground rules ahead of time so everyone knows what their role will be and who needs help. Remember that family members love you unconditionally- but nothing can replace quality time spent together!<\/p>\n","protected":false},"excerpt":{"rendered":"<p>Have you ever felt like your family members are taking advantage of you? You feel like they&#8217;re always asking for favors, but never giving anything back in return. They constantly want to be around you and they don&#8217;t seem to understand how much time it takes up. It can feel draining at times, but the&hellip; <a class=\"more-link\" href=\"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/how-to-set-boundaries-with-family\/\">Continue reading <span class=\"screen-reader-text\">How to Set Boundaries with Family<\/span><\/a><\/p>\n","protected":false},"author":1,"featured_media":0,"comment_status":"open","ping_status":"open","sticky":false,"template":"","format":"standard","meta":{"footnotes":""},"categories":[3,1],"tags":[],"featured_image_src":null,"featured_image_src_square":null,"author_info":{"display_name":"DATE + KALE","author_link":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/author\/aj\/"},"_links":{"self":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162"}],"collection":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts"}],"about":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/types\/post"}],"author":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/users\/1"}],"replies":[{"embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/comments?post=162"}],"version-history":[{"count":1,"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162\/revisions"}],"predecessor-version":[{"id":283,"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/posts\/162\/revisions\/283"}],"wp:attachment":[{"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/media?parent=162"}],"wp:term":[{"taxonomy":"category","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/categories?post=162"},{"taxonomy":"post_tag","embeddable":true,"href":"https:\/\/www.dateandkale.com\/wp-json\/wp\/v2\/tags?post=162"}],"curies":[{"name":"wp","href":"https:\/\/api.w.org\/{rel}","templated":true}]}}